Why I Wrote The Book "Good Girl" and Why You Should Read It

Good Girl is a principally a memoir -- an inspirational or transformation memoir, if I've done my job correctly! NOT writing this book was never an option for me. The decision to transform my pain and confusion into clarity of thought in a written, shareable format was imperative -- it simply had to be done.

I always suspected that telling my story with every ounce of honesty I could muster would help in many ways, but I underestimated two things:

1. I underestimated just how incredibly healing the writing process itself would be. The intellectual exercise of producing a written composition allowed the creativity that lives inside me to emerge unchecked. I can't tell you the number of times that I (yeah, me, the author!) was surprised to read the words that materialized on the pages of the book; it was as if a part of me with which I'm not overly acquainted took over and lovingly told me my story. The result? Miraculous comprehension. Miraculous healing.

   
   

2. The second thing I greatly underestimated was the impact my story would have on my readers, regardless of their age, sex, personal history, or relationship to me. I learned that many components of my story are highly relatable, even for those who cannot claim to have experienced life with a narcissist or who have not personally reached the depths of my despair. I learned that my readers almost universally describe my decision to tell my story as "brave." (I'm still processing how that label makes me feel.) I've learned that almost everyone has some personal connection to a narcissist or person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (an in-law, an estranged father, a childhood friend, a husband of an acquaintance, etc.) In several instances my reader hadn't been quite sure how to label the toxicity of the troublesome person/relationship but after reading Good Girl, all doubt vanished: "Oh my god. He/she is definitely a narcissistc. I suspected as much, but I wasn't sure until I read your story and looked at the criteria you shared. Wow."

   
   

   Wow.

   
   

Writing Good Girl - My Why

It was always my greatest hope that writing Good Girl would lead to healing -- not only for me, but for at least one other lost soul. Although I suspect those who would benefit most from reading my book are the least likely to seek it out, I maintain the fervent hope that my messages of understanding, camaraderie, and healing find these souls through a community of helpers -- those of us healed and strong enough to share critical information and lovingly guide those who need us toward healthy love and professional support.

Writing the book was no cakewalk. Doubts, fears, exhaustion, spiking anxiety, a noisy household, conflicting commitments -- all the things you would expect to be at play were indeed present with bells on! But I persisted. I had to. (See above re: it was imperative that I write the book!) I plugged along month after month, and one day, it was done. I was done. I did it! I laboured and birthed a beyond-full-term baby and she was imperfectly perfect.

Sharing my heart with the world has been equal parts terrifying and rewarding. Only time will tell its reach and impact. I have no control over this, and that's ok. I love that Good Girl speaks for herself -- she's learned the lessons within her pages, and has nothing but the best intentions. I'm proud of what she offers, and although I will always be here supporting her message, I'm content to move forward. For me that means continuing to traverse the path towards embracing newfound peace, self-love, and clarity, exploring trails that lead directly to joy and light. Please join me here -- it's so lovely.

Reading Good Girl - Your Why

So, that's a little bit about My Why but what about yours? What's Your Why? Why should you read this book? There are over 44 million books available on Amazon worldwide --- you have so many choices! Even if we narrow our world to the non-fiction/self-help genre, you'll still find yourself flooded with more books than you could possibly read in a lifetime, many of them penned by famous actors, music artists, and politicians. Why should you care what some random girl from small town Ontario has to say?

Don't get me wrong -- I love a celebrity memoir as much as the next guy; the lives of the rich and famous tend to be sensational in every way -- where they live, who they know, the money they make, the access they have, the places they travel, etc. These details don't make them bad people, but if you're looking for relatability, a celebrity memoir ain't it! (Sorry to break the news to you, but most of us aren't famous, and TikTok-famous doesn't count! Well, maybe it does, but to us Gen Xers, it doesn't!)

For example, I really enjoyed reading actress, filmmaker, and writer Sarah Polley's memoir, "Run Toward the Danger". Tucking into the first essay in the book, I found her recollections compelling and, surprisingly, instantly relatable. I reflexively attributed the feeling of relatability to the fact that Sarah is a fellow female Canadian of a similar generation and quickly asssumed that that was where the similarities would end -- I was not a child actor, nor was I ever injured on a movie set or sexually assaulted by a famous musician/broadcaster.

But wait. Even as I absorbed the unique, once-in-a-lifetime details of Sarah's memories, why did I continue to find her story so relatable?

I've come to realize that us crazy humans have much more in common than we have differences. Yes, we boast different square footages in our primary homes and perhaps stay in differently starred vacation destinations, but I would argue that overall the human experience is universal. Fear, loneliness, encounters with predators and those who mean us harm, self-doubt, disappointment, depression, physical and mental health battles -- no social strata is spared these challenges.

My story is my own, just like any other memoir writer, but I bet you will see something of your world in my words. Even if you don't see any of your own story in mine, it's likely you'll see pieces of the story of someone close to you. What an opportunity! YOU could be the person who helps this person feel seen and known. You may even come to know and see yourself a little differently as well.

I write in Good Girl:

"Most people are intrinsically very decent and have a deep well of kindness and love. Sit with these people and show them your pain and vulnerability. Trust me, they have pain too. Those who have already rumbled with their past and come to terms with their truth are magicians just waiting to usher you behind the curtain."

Are you the one with the pain? Or are you the magician? You might be both. Either way, you have an opportunity to be seen and heard as well as an opportunity to be the witness to somebody else's story. What a privilege. I urge you not to waste it.

The Lessons of Good Girl

What might you learn reading Good Girl?

More than just the re-telling of a life story -- the who, what, when, and where -- Good Girl tries valiantly to answer the whys.

• Why does a victim stay with an abuser for decades? What sort of psychological entanglement is at play?

• Why might a person with empathic qualities fall victim to a narcissist more easily?

• Why are predators sometimes protected by the culture in which they operate?

• Why does cultural complicity still operate even though we are aware of its existence?

• Why do victims of grooming and abuse have such a hard time speaking up?

• Why are humility and a strong work ethic sometimes dangerous?

• Why was it detrimental for my parents to tell me to "be a good girl?"

• Why must we all do a better job of "rumbling" and truth-telling?

• Why is it not helpful to ask the victim of abuse, "Why did you stay?"

• Why must we remember to be extremely supportive and offer heaps of time and grace to individuals extracting from toxic relationships?

• Why having educational and career success and a "good" upbringing don't necessarily protect you from victimhood - subtle, complex interactions and malevolent motivations can trap the wisest of us

• Why might an understanding of Attachment Theory and Internal Family Systems help us unravel the mystery of codependence and unhealthy relationship choices?

• Why does learning about somebody else's struggle make us feel more connected with one another, bringing the universality of the human experience into sharper focus?

• Why learning that we are meant to live in peace and find authentic joy can be life-affirming and life-saving

Let's Not Wait

With all these opportunities for learning and connection and compassion and camaraderie -- especially in today's anxiety-filled divisive climate -- I can't help but believe that there's no better time to read this memoir. It's not in my nature to toot my own horn, but with every conversation I have with my readers, I'm more and more convinced that Good Girl has the ability to heal wounds, teach lessons, educate kind, curious souls, and perhaps prevent future pain and suffering. What could be more urgent than this?

If you're ready to dig in, please secure your copy today - you can order online, download the eBook, or search your local library (if they don't have a copy, ask them to order it!) If you are interested in a free review copy, please contact me at anna.f.storm@outlook.com and I'll get you set up!

One last request - please share. If you have a copy of the book, please pass it on when you've finished reading it. If you're a member of a book club, consider suggesting Good Girl when it's your pick (Book Club questions coming soon!) If you need a birthday or Mother's Day gift idea, why not gift a copy of Good Girl, perhaps along with a donation to your local women's shelter. Let's get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

“...count me in for all the rumbling and the truth-telling; what else is there that’s real? Ignorance, silence, and falsehoods are breeding grounds for sickness and remaining stuck. I’ve seen it happen to others, and I’ve experienced it first-hand.”

Good Girl, Anna Storm

Tell Me What You Think

I would love to hear from you. Please leave me a comment or question below. Your feedback, thoughts, and insights are incredibly important. If you've read the book I would love to know if you related to the story in any way, and whether it taught you anything you could apply to your life or to the experience of a loved one. Thank you for reading.

Until next time, I see you and I believe you.

Anna

xoxo